The other day, someone asked me, for about the third time in as many weeks if I was married? Maybe it’s just  symptom of being in grad school, where being a professional student means that waiting to finish school to get married would be the same as not getting married at all, but it made me wonder if I there is something about my behavior that makes me come across as the sedentary, committed type?

What does this have to do with being gay? Or Single for that matter? Well, last night I got the ‘Can I ask you a question, and I absolutely don’t mean to offend you – but, are you gay? Question. Now, I want to be absolutely clear, I don’t take any offense whatsoever to someone asking that. To have a problem with it, I would have to have a problem with being gay, which I don’t.

BUT, it does raise the question in my mind, what it is about my behavior that might make someone think I was married, or gay. Am I somehow coming across as gay or married because of something about the way I act. I should clarify, that it has only been women who have asked these questions. I’ve been told before by people that they were convinced I was gay!

Being in a long-term relationship, this issue never came up. And at first, I always blamed such perceptions, and my friendliness towards the opposite sex on having three younger sisters. I don’t deny that I more quickly see them as friends and become protective, than I do as potential opportunities, (to put it crudely). But, I wonder if something has changed recently or over time. You know that for every person that asks there are at least 3 or 4 who didn’t.

My point, and question is, have I been single for so long that now people think I’m not into women?


Pragmatist, Student, Humanitarian, Rights Advocate, Runner, Reader, Brother, Sleeper

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Posted in Life, Love

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